A romantic relationship is a beautiful thing to have. However, it was a breakup that taught me some beautiful lessons and introduced me to my true self.
How did the relationship start?
It all started like a fairy tale: butterflies in the stomach were in full swing. I felt like I had found the love of my life. Both of us were looking for a partner on whom we could depend in order to build a strong relationship. We believed strong relationships could only be made from being together at all times and sharing all the information we know. In other words, we had an enmeshed relationship.
For two years it was full of beautiful experiences. but I started to feel that something was missing from my life.
What was missing?
It didn’t take me long to figure out that I was missing was my own self!
I had lost my own identity while looking for love. I had cut off all my friends and put my career at stake. It was then that I found myself in an overwhelming situation. Suddenly, I wanted to get my life back. However, I knew that was not possible as both of us were on the same page before.
How did I try to cope with the situation?
I started making efforts to make our relationship a little more social. Man, was that struggle real! I was getting more and more lonely every single day. I didn’t know who I was anymore.
We took another year and a half to reach the mutual decision of discovering ourselves as individuals first. The painful breakup that followed was a necessary step that had to be taken to reach that goal.
I was happy to start a new life. However, I felt really lonely all the time. Nevertheless, I decided not to get into any other relationship; I had to find myself first and know who I really am. It took a lot of time, but I ended up finding a few good friends and an amazing mentor. All these people helped me discover and face the reality of who I am.
What did I figure out after the breakup?
I figured out that my past relationship was satisfying my need to depend on someone. But I couldn’t depend on others forever, could I? Instead, I decided to start providing my own self with the love and care that I required. In fact, I was doing exactly that for myself which I was expecting my former girlfriend to do for me.
It is needless to say that I failed countless times, but my friends and mentors were there to support me throughout.
How did the breakup help me?
Ending a romantic relationship isn’t an easy task. However, it was a breakup that helped me know, understand and accept myself. It also taught me how to provide myself with the care that I hoped to get from others.
The support of my friends and mentor has been crucial for me to grow into the empowered person that I am today. Similarly, even you can help a person grow into the one they have always dreamt of being by simply supporting them. Just that much of an effort on your part can help someone turn their life around for good.
If you know someone who is going through a difficult breakup, support them and connect them to the help they need. A counselor from Mind Solace will help them deal with the breakup in a more effective way so that they can learn from the experience and grow.